


Remembering Kara's Name

by SpaceshipsAreCool



Category: DCU, Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Dubious Consent, F/F, I'm just putting the tag in to be safe, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2018-05-12 09:09:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5660767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceshipsAreCool/pseuds/SpaceshipsAreCool
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternate way Kara could have realized that she had lost her powers in "Red Faced," lots of angst. Involves Cat and Kara getting drunk. Complete.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

Alternative ending of “Red Faced”

 

**Very Important Note: Kara has blown out her powers, and can hence get drunk, but her senses are still much better than a normal human. I know this doesn’t make sense, but just go with it.**

 

“Have another one, Kara,” Cat was too drunk to care that she was saying her assistant’s name correctly for once, but from the look of things, Kara was worse off than her, so at least there was a good chance the girl wouldn’t even remember the slip in the morning.

 

“I think I’ve had enough, Miss Grant,” Kara was trying to protest now, it was adorable how the younger woman thought she could deny her boss, but just as she had for every drink after the first two, and just as Cat knew she would continue to do, Kara accepted the drink that Cat shoved into her hands anyway.

 

“Good girl,” Cat almost purred, reaching out a hand to lightly brush a stray strand of hair off Kara’s face. She didn’t miss the slight blush, or the way Kara’s eyes dilated at the contact. The reaction gave Cat pause, she had thought the girl had a thing for the photographer boy, but maybe not.

 

No one would ever guess that Cat was secretly very fond of her assistant, well, more than fond actually. At first, Cat had found Kara’s bubbly personality and endless good-nature grating, but she had refrained from firing the girl because, despite her personality faults, Kara was exceptional at her job. As the weeks turning into months, however, and Kara showed no sign of quitting or breaking under Cat’s demanding and harsh treatment, Cat had begun to look at her differently. Every other assistant she had had, had only lasted a few months, but here it was, two years later, and Kara was still able to smile in her presence, nervously, yes, but with the same level of joy and honesty as the day she had been hired. It took a rare strength to continue to shine so brightly in this world, it was a quality Cat herself didn’t possess. So Cat had begun to push her assistant more, still being harsh on her, but now there was a purpose to her critiques. Cat demanded excellence from Kara because Kara was capable of it, and now Kara was blushing and smiling at her and Cat couldn’t stop herself from openly staring as this beautiful, shining girl.

 

 _This is not good, get ahold of yourself, Cat!_ She would be lying if she said she hadn’t thought about this, her assistant was young, and beautiful, and delightfully naive and adorable in the way that professionally made the older woman cringe, but privately made her want to take Kara under her wing, or more directly just under her, and show her a whole new world. It didn’t hurt that Kara also looked a bit like Supergirl, and Cat doubted that there was a straight man, or gay woman in National City that hadn’t fantasized about sleeping with the blond superhero.

 

So yes, Cat had thought about fucking Kara, and Supergirl. She had allowed herself that small indulgence because both of them were safe, unachievable outlets for her fantasies. Her assistant was supposedly straight and pining over James Olsen, while Supergirl was, well, off flying around in a cape somewhere. But she would never have allowed her fantasies quite so much free reign if she ever thought there was actually a chance for something to happen with Kara. Any other person she wouldn’t have worried about if her fantasies and reality overlapped, but every other person was not Kara. While privately she could limit her thoughts to imagining what it would be like to just touch and caress her young assistant, to hear her moan Cat’s name, Cat also knew that if she did get the opportunity to sleep with Kara in real life, she would want it to be about more than just sex. And that was very, very dangerous. But now Kara was looking at her like Cat was the superhero, and Cat realized that maybe, just maybe, Supergirl wasn’t the only woman that belonged to her.

 

If she had been sober she would have filed this information away for further review, but Cat Grant was most decidedly not sober, and she wanted Kara, warning bells be damned.

 

“Kara,” she said the name correctly for a second time, this time running her hand slowly and seductively down Kara’s arm, trying to gauge the response. Kara did not disappoint, and as the younger woman shivered, Cat felt her own heart rate increase.

 

“Finish your drink,” she ordered, pulling her hand back and downing her own martini decisively.

 

“Yes, Miss Grant,” Kara’s voice was breathy and Cat knew she wanted to hear more of it. Both drinks empty, Cat threw money down on the table and grabbed Kara’s hand, yanking her roughly to her feet and pulling her into her body. Kara shivered again when Cat wrapped an arm around her waist to steady the girl, and if they hadn’t chosen a bar so close to CatCo, Cat wasn’t sure she would have been able to resist taking her assistant right there on the table. But that would lead to getting thrown out of said bar, and very public coverage, and while she was drunk, she wasn’t as drunk as all that.

 

And then, just like that, they were in Cat’s private elevator on their way to her office. It was late and everyone would be gone by now, meaning that she could make Kara scream her name as loud as she wanted, and no one would hear or come to interrupt. With that realization, Cat knew she couldn’t wait anymore. Reaching over, she pressed the stop button, before turning and giving her full attention to the other woman.

 

“Miss Grant, what-” Kara started to say, but her voice broke off as she took in the feral look her boss was giving her. Cat tilted her head slightly, enjoying the view. Kara, poor, sweet, naïve Kara, still hadn’t figured out where this was all going, and Cat smiled predatorily as she stalked across the small space. Kara’s eyes widened and she backed up, one step, and then two, before her back hit the wall of the elevator.

 

“Nowhere to run, my beautiful girl,” Cat’s voice was low and rough as she closed the distance, placing her hands on either side of Kara, trapping her in place. Cat paused slightly when she saw the true confusion in Kara’s eyes. Part of her, a very small part, was screaming that this wasn’t right, but Kara was still looking at her in that way that Cat knew meant the younger woman wanted her, and so Cat let her intoxication take over and gave in.

 

“What-” Kara tried to say again, but this time she was cut off not by a look, but by Cat grabbing her hair and forcibly pulling her head down into a fierce kiss. There was a short second where Kara was unresponsive, and Cat started to worry again, but then Kara’s arms were on her waist, pulling their bodies closer, and Cat felt her begin to respond.

 

Cat bit the younger woman’s lip slightly, eliciting a sharp gasp, and Cat used the opportunity to invade her mouth. Surprisingly, Kara didn’t just roll over and accept her position on the bottom, causing Cat to growl in excitement as she realized that there was a true fight for dominance in the kiss. Even so, she was Cat fucking Grant, and she was not about to lose to anyone, let alone her assistant.

 

Cat used her free hand, the one not tangled in that thick blond hair, to slip under Kara’s shirt and then her bra, before roughly taking Kara’s breast in her hand and giving it a hard pinch. The response was immediate, Kara cried out and shuddered against her, and Cat tightened her grip on her hair, while at the same time claiming her victory in the kiss. Kara moaned again as Cat shoved her leg in between Kara’s own, applying just a ghost of the pressure she knew the younger woman needed, and Cat felt her own need increase. She couldn’t wait, she didn’t have time to explore Kara’s body, to learn about her, she wanted her right here, right now.

 

Pulling away from Kara’s lips, she kissed and bit her way down Kara’s neck to her pulse point, using her teeth on the soft skin, while at the same time dragging her hand, and nails, down Kara’s abdomen. Even in her hurry she still noted how fit Kara was, something she was sure she would have time to explore once they were in a more horizontal position. But a moment later her hand was down Kara’s paints, and she let out an involuntary moan herself when she felt just how wet Kara was for her. Cat wasted no time in shoving three fingers into the younger woman, hardly caring if it was too much, too soon. At her touch, Kara threw back her head, and Cat reveled in the noises escaping from Kara’s throat. She didn’t try to be gentle, and from the way Kara was reacting, she didn’t want Cat to be gentle either. It didn’t take long before Cat knew she had Kara right at the edge, and she wasn’t in the mood to tease, that could come later.

 

“Come for me, Kara,” Cat growled, meeting her assistant’s eyes, making sure that Kara could see her own lust and need reflected back at her, and then Cat curled her fingers inside Kara, while pinching down with her thumb. Cat broke the gaze only to bite down hard on Kara shoulder, a move that was rewarded as the breathy whimpers and moans were replaced with a sharp cry and she felt Kara convulse against her.

 

She kept their bodies pressed against each other as Kara rode out her orgasm, before slowly removing her hand and bringing it to her mouth, never breaking eye contact as she carefully cleaned her fingers. She removed her other hand from Kara’s hair and stepped back, pressing the button to resume the elevator's motion. She knew she was grinning like, and as much as she hated to turn to such predictable language, like the cat that ate the canary. But oh, what a canary.

 

A second later the doors dinged and the two of them were greeted by a dark office that was, most importantly and blessedly, empty. Now to really show Kara what she was capable of, Cat thought, meaning to lead Kara over to her office and do things properly. But Kara seemed to have recovered faster that Cat would have thought, and, instead it was Kara that was kissing her, pushing and pulling her along, and Cat felt herself helpless to stop her. As much as she liked being in control, there was something about the way Kara was kissing her, the look in her eyes, that told Cat that right now, she was the most important thing in the world to the other woman, and for some reason, that look, because it was coming from Kara, was enough to take her breath away and let Kara take the lead.

 

Cat tried to make one move to push Kara down on the couch, but Kara seemed to have other plans, and a moment later Cat found herself to be the one flat on her back looking up at the stars on the sofa on her balcony, instead of inside. Kara was straddling her, and Cat closed her eyes enjoying the kiss, but then the younger woman pulled away and there was a decidedly annoying lack of touching.

 

Cat opened her eyes and reached to pull Kara back, but the other woman brushed her hands away, and although she did oblige Cat slightly by beginning to run her hands over Cat’s body, it was almost like Kara was assessing her, the touch too fleeting and light to give Cat any real satisfaction.

 

“Kara,” Cat warned, but Kara shook her head slightly and responded with, “not yet,” her eyes watching Cat’s face intently, her hands continuing their maddening search.

 

“Kara,” Cat tried again, “what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

 

Cat’s question was greeted by a brilliant grin, the kind of smile she had only just started to see from her assistant when Cat made a decision that Kara truly approved of, like when she had decided to post positive stories after Thanksgiving. Cat felt her heart rate increase once again, and she could almost swear she saw a hint of laughter in Kara’s eyes as a result.

 

“I’m learning about you, Miss Grant. I’m sure you’ve noticed by now how detail oriented I can be,” Cat arched an eyebrow and Kara went on, “so I’m watching your eyes to see how they dilate slightly more when I touch you here as opposed to here,” and Kara moved her hand to one spot just under Cat’s left breast that she especially loved, before pulling away too quickly to another place, “and I’m listening to how your breathing changes as I alter the amount of pressure I’m applying.”

 

Cat rolled her eyes, “you can’t be serious,” but the way Kara was looking at her told Cat just exactly how serious Kara was. Still, Cat refused to give in, “just hurry up and fuck me already,” she snapped, trying, and once again failing, to pull Kara closer.

 

Kara just shook her head and continued with the maddening smile, but a moment later her hands finally stilled, “alright, Miss Grant, shall we begin?”

 

“Finally,” Cat was glaring, “this stupid stunt of your better be wor-” and then words failed her because the ‘stunt’ was indeed worth it.

 

Three orgasms later Cat didn’t remember when she had lost all her clothes. Some part of her, she knew, found it was incredibly unfair that Kara was still completely dressed, although clearly disheveled, but after Kara had gotten serious, Cat would have given anything not to stop what was happening, not even to undress the woman on top of her. She had never had sex like this before, never had someone learn so quickly just where she liked to be touched and how, and she had probably screamed Kara’s name enough times by now to make up for all those times she had said it incorrectly on purpose. And then Kara did that thing again, at just the right moment and Cat fell apart for a fourth time.

 

She must have blacked out because the next thing she knew she was hearing Kara’s voice say her name over and over again.

 

She opened her eyes and Kara’s beautiful, worried face came into focus. Cat’s head was still spinning, but as she moved to sit up she noticed that she was now completely dressed and inside of the office, she must have been out for at least ten minutes then, if not longer.

 

“Miss Grant, thank god,” Kara was saying, “I was so worried, are you ok, are-” Cat couldn’t help but smile at the familiar babbling. She almost couldn’t believe that she had just been so thoroughly handled by the flustered young woman kneeling at her side, the young woman who was still calling her Miss Grant, not Cat, despite what they had just done.

 

“Kara, calm down,” Kara quieted instantly in response to the order, at least Cat knew she was back in charge. “Get me-” but before she could finish, Kara was already handing her a glass of water and an Advil.

 

“Take an Advil as well, both of us are quite drunk, you’ll need it,” she was trying to regain her composure by giving orders, knowing that Kara probably needed to be centered back into their usual dynamic just as much as she did. At her words however, Kara’s brows drew quickly together.

 

“I’m not drunk,” she responded, although as soon as she said it, she began to look uncertain.

 

Cat sighed, “Kara, trust me, I am drunk, and you, my dear, are very very drunk,” she offered her assistant a comforting smile and reached for her.

 

Kara backed away, tripping over her own feet as she did so, panic clearly setting in.

 

“I don’t get drunk!” Cat was starting to get worried now, but she found it hard not to be amused that Kara thought she could drink so many martinis without any effects.

 

“Something’s wrong, I, I have to go, I’m sorry!” Kara was now frantically searching through her purse for her phone.

 

Cat rolled her eyes, “don’t tell me you’ve never been drunk before,” she meant it as a joke, but her slightly amused smile vanished a moment later when Kara looked up at her.

 

She had never seen Kara look so scared, “I’ve never done this before,” Kara’s voice was soft and Cat could just make it out, but she wished she hadn’t heard it at all.

 

“Which part? The getting drunk part, or the sleeping with your boss part?” Cat tried to hold on to her amusement at the situation, but it was getting harder to maintain.

 

“Any of it, I’ve never been drunk before, and I’ve never slept with anyone before!” And then there was a pause as Kara looked at her, true realization setting in, “we had sex, oh no, no, no…”

 

And then Kara was running, or rather stumbling away from her.

 

“Kara!” Cat tried to yell, but her body was in no condition to go after the younger woman. Instead all she could do was watch Kara frantically push at her cell phone, clearly not hitting the buttons correctly, as the elevator doors closed on her.

 

Cat felt like the ground was spinning out from beneath her as Kara’s last words sunk in. Cat started to replay the evening in her head, and suddenly, it was beginning to take on a whole different light.

 

Cat had been too caught up in her own want, her own need, to treat Kara the way the girl deserved. Even though tonight had been driven by lust, Cat had never doubted for one moment that Kara actually meant something to her. She knew Kara was special, and Kara didn’t deserve her first time to be in a drunken moment, let alone in an office, and she most certainly did not deserve to be roughly shoved against an elevator wall and fucked in a confused haze like she was any random hook-up. And yet somehow, despite this treatment, Kara had still treated Cat like she was a goddess. Kara had made Cat feel like she was the most important, the most special person in Kara’s life, like she was all that Kara could see in that moment. Cat had no idea how Kara had been able to do that, if she really hadn’t had sex before, but Cat supposed that the assessing thing she had done in the beginning was responsible.

 

Even as that realization was enough to make Cat cringe, it wasn’t what was making her feel so sick in this moment. No, the credit for that went to the revelation that Kara had never been drunk before, and, from the sound of things, didn’t even realize she was drunk, at least not until Cat had said something. It was that knowledge that was driving the nausea that was threatening to overpower her.

 

Of course there were always consent questions when alcohol was involved, but both Kara and Cat were grown women, despite the age difference. Cat had assumed Kara knew what she was doing when she accepted the drinks, that Kara knew how they would affect her. But if Kara had never been drunk before then the girl truly might not have had any idea what the drinks were doing to her. Kara had started protesting drinks after the first two, but Cat had made her drink those first two so quickly that Kara had probably already been drunk, and by that point, Kara’s judgment was already impaired enough that, it was just possible, that if she truly didn’t think she was getting drunk, that she had been too out of it to even realized what was happening.

 

And so in the elevator, that confusion that had given Cat pause, it had been all too real. Kara hadn’t understood what was going on, not really, and most certainty not enough to give any real consent. Sure, Kara had reacted like she wanted it, and her actions once they got off the elevator seemed to suggest that she did, but none of that changed the fact that Kara hadn’t understood what was happening at first, and that even once she did, she hadn’t realized that she was drunk, that she was impaired, and so she hadn’t even realized that her actions were not her own. That, coupled with the real fear and panic Cat had seen on her assistant’s face when Kara had realized what had happened, that was what was completely changing her view of the evenings events.

 

Cat barely made it to her private bathroom before her stomach contents emptied out. She wasn’t sure how long she stayed like that, but only the knowledge that she needed to check on Carter was strong enough to pull her out her stupor just long enough to call the nanny to make sure he was taken care of. After hanging up, she walked on shaking legs over to the sofa and sunk down once more. She kept replaying the last moments with Kara in her head, hearing Kara say “no” over and over, and seeing that panicked face, juxtaposed against the normal beaming face of her assistant, that smile that she had begun to long for.

 

She knew she was going to be sick again, never mind that there wasn’t anything left in her stomach to throw up, and so for a second time she stumbled to her bathroom. By the time she was done she felt like hours had passed, although in reality, it had probably only been a few minutes.

 

Her eyes fell on the shower and without further thought she shed her clothes and stepped in, turning the water on as hot as it could go, trying to scald herself clean. It didn’t work. Racking sobs overtook her and she sank to her knees, shaking as the water cascaded down her body, hot enough to burn, but not to erase what she had done. She stayed that way, curled up on the floor of the shower until the water had turned icy cold and there was no heat left to hurt her. Dressing herself slowly in the change of clothes that Kara was always careful to keep clean and ready for her, in case of an emergency, Cat left the bathroom in a trance, walking back out to the balcony to spend the rest of the night on the couch where, only a little while before, she had had the best sex of her life with someone that she genuinely cared about, which very well might not have been consensual.

 

She must have dozed off eventually, because, in an eerie moment of deja vu, she found herself coming to with the sound of Kara’s worried voice in her ear.

 

“Miss Grant, are you alright? Did you sleep here?” Kara was kneeling at her side again.

 

 _What is she doing here?_ Cat stared at her assistant in bewilderment, blinking in the morning sunlight; _doesn’t she realize what I did to her last night?_

 

Cat took a moment to assess the younger woman. There was a slightly pained look that suggested Kara did indeed have a massive hangover, but no level of anger or fear.

 

Cat still hadn’t spoken, which Kara seemed to take as a sign that she was at fault for something, because she immediately started trying to apologize.

 

“Miss Grant, I’m so sorry for anything I did last night, I-”

 

Cat cut her off with a look of disbelief, “you’re what?”

 

Kara was nodding earnestly, “I’ve never been drunk before, I can’t remember anything, but if I did anything, or said anything inappropriate, I’m really, really sorry.”

 

“You don’t remember,” Cat said slowly, letting the words sink in, she could tell from Kara’s expression that the girl wasn’t lying, and she felt a wave of relief sweep over her.

 

“Please don’t fire me,” now Kara really did look scared. Cat’s relief instantly turned sour and she looked away, how could she be relieved that Kara didn’t remember? Sure, it got her out of trouble, but she should be worrying about Kara, not herself.

 

Taking a deep breath, she looked back at her young assistant. Kara was nervously wringing her hands, and Cat couldn’t stop herself from reaching out to halt the nervous movement with her own hands. Kara jumped slightly and blushed at the contact, but instantly stilled.

 

“Kara, you need to listen to me, this is very important,” Cat waited until she was sure she had Kara’s full attention. “You did nothing wrong last night, do you hear me? Absolutely nothing.”

 

At her words Kara relaxed, although she still seemed nervous, as if she couldn’t understand why Cat was treating this moment so seriously.

 

“Um, alright then,” Kara said after a moment, starting to draw away, but Cat gripped her hands tighter, keeping her in place.

 

“I need you to promise me something, though,” Cat searched Kara’s eyes for a moment, looking for any hint of memory before going on, “if you do remember anything, promise me you’ll come talk to me about it first, promise me, Kara!” Normally Cat would hate the way her voice sounded like she was pleading, but right now she didn’t care.

 

Kara tilted her head to the side slightly, “of course, Miss Grant,” and, seeming to sense that Cat wasn’t fully appeased, Kara continued, “you finally got my name right, how could I refuse you anything now?”

 

And then Kara smiled in that special Kara puppy-dog way than made Cat want to just hug the girl to herself and never let go. The moment ended when a phone rang somewhere and Kara jumped up to answer it, leaving Cat alone on the balcony.

 

Cat buried her head in her hands, that smile of Kara’s swimming in her mind, “what have I done?”


	2. Chapter Two

Kara was still worried about what had happened the night she had blacked out. Alex had told her that she had picked Kara up at the office, just before she passed out, which meant that she had probably been with Miss Grant, considering the fact that her boss had still been there in the morning. And from those strange, worried looks Miss Grant had been shooting her way when she thought Kara wasn’t looking, obviously something had happened.

 

She desperately hoped that she hadn’t tipped her hand and revealed to the older woman that she was in love with her. She had worked so hard to hide that fact, even trying to make herself interested in James, someone who already knew her secrets, but in that she had failed miserably. At least her efforts with the photographer had been noticed by Miss Grant, however, so her true feelings were safely hidden, unless she had done something stupid like kissed her boss that night.

 

But Kara didn’t have time to worry about that right now, she had just gotten her powers back and there was an earthquake to deal with. At least Miss Grant was calling her the wrong name again, so maybe things would be settling back to normal soon, even if she never remembered what had happened.

 

Hours later Kara finally returned home, not even bothering to take off her costume before sinking into bed. She just wanted to sleep, her powers still weren’t back at full strength and her bed was so very soft. Now if only that annoying buzzing would go away and let her rest.

 

She frowned, now that she thought about it, the buzzing had started the moment she regained her powers. In all the chaos she had just pushed it to the side, but now, alone and without other demands at last, it was becoming impossible to ignore. Propping herself up on her elbows, Kara focused on the noise, trying to locate the source. Her initial worry was that there was another drone following her around, but as she concentrated, she realized that the buzzing was inside her head.

 

Closing her eyes, Kara blocked out everything else, closing down her external senses one by one until only the buzzing remained. And now it began to take shape, the buzzing gave way to a gentle hum, accompanied by a soft, glowing light. As she increased her focus, the light shifted into a humanoid figure, and she realized that the hum was actually a heartbeat. And then with a jolt the image came into sharp focus.

 

“Miss Grant,” she breathed.

 

Kara realized she could sense the other woman, almost as if they were side by side. She could hear the older woman’s heartbeat, feel the slight pain in Miss Grant’s left leg where she had banged it during the earthquake, and most importantly, she could feel the steady pulse of her life force, strong and beautiful, just like the woman herself.

 

But no, that wasn’t possible, there was no reason why getting her powers back should have opened this connection as well. On Krypton no one had powers, and yet they could still feel the pull, still feel that… that _need_ for the other person. Was it because Miss Grant was human? Because she didn’t have the same biology? That must be it. Miss Grant wasn’t kryptonian, and so there was no return pulse to send the connection back, which was why Kara hadn’t been able to feel it without her heightened abilities, but even so, this made no sense, this connection. It didn’t because this should only happen with her mate, unless… and now finally, after nearly a week, Kara remembered.

 

“Oh…” Kara’s exhaustion was gone, replaced with the same panic she had felt that night after she realized what she had done. This was exactly why she had worked so hard to hide her affections. Cat, and vaguely Kara realized that she had used the woman’s first name, Cat didn’t deserve this, she didn’t deserve to find herself bound to an alien who she didn’t even like all that much. It was all her fault, she was Supergirl, she was supposed to protect people, especially the woman she was in love with. That night, however, when Cat had looked at her like that in the elevator, all Kara had wanted was to show Cat how much she loved her, show her what it meant when a Kryptonian fell in love.

 

But Cat had kissed her first, hadn’t she? And suddenly Kara felt a thin glimmer of hope. Was it just possible that Cat did care about her as more than just her assistant? Replaying the evening in question in her head, Kara couldn’t help the small smile that began to grow on her lips. As she thought about it, the stronger her conviction became, until she reached the end of the evening and her smile vanished and she winced, remembering how she had ended things, running out on the other woman and leaving her all alone.

 

“I have to go to her,” she was speaking to herself again, but she didn’t care. If Cat actually did care for her, even just a little bit, maybe there was a chance to turn this into something more. Cat didn’t need to know right away that Kara was bound to her, after all. Cat was human, the bonding wouldn’t have any effect on her, she wouldn’t need Kara the same was Kara needed Cat. That meant that they could give things time to grow, Kara would happily wait for an eternity if she though there was even a chance to live in harmony together with Cat, with her mate.

 

But first she needed to go to the office. Cat would still be there, she was sure, and she had promised to come talk to Cat if and when she remembered.

 

“Now I just need to remember to call her Miss Grant,” she grumbled, but it was a happy grumble, a hopeful one.

 

///////////////////////

 

When Supergirl had told her that she was inspired by her, by Cat Grant, Cat had felt her heart lift for the first time in days. But it had been short-lived, and ultimately the praise only made her feel worse about herself, which was why she was still at the office, burying herself in work, rather than at home with her son.

 

“Miss Grant?” Cat’s head shot up at the sound of her name, she hadn’t heard anyone come in, but it had been a long day.

 

“You should be home, what are you-” but she stopped mid-sentence when she saw the blush creeping over her assistant’s face, and the knowing look in her eyes.

 

She knew what was about to come out of Kara’s mouth next, but she still dreaded it, and her hand came down to clutch as the armrest of her desk chair for whatever additional support it could provide.

 

“You said I should come talk to you when I remembered?” Kara offered a small smile, and Cat frowned in confusion. This was not right, how could Kara be looking at her like that? Like she was happy, like Cat hadn’t practically raped her?

 

“Come in and close the door.” Cat felt like her voice was not her own, issuing forth from a third party while she herself stood off to the side, observing the events. At least her voice wasn’t shaking, and her legs were steady as she stood and walked around her desk.

 

Kara did as she was told, before coming over to join Cat, standing just a little too close.

 

“I’m so sorry I ran off like that, Miss Grant!” Cat had replayed this conversation over and over in her mind, and never once had she imagined Kara saying that.

 

“You’re apologizing to me?” She couldn’t believe what she was hearing, or seeing for that matter, as the next moment Kara actually took a step closer and reached her hand out to touch the older woman. Cat knew she should back away, but she wanted so badly for everything to be alright, to touch Kara again, that she made no move to resist as Kara reached down and grasped Cat’s hand in her own.

 

Cat’s lack of protest seemed to give the younger woman more confidence, and her smile widened.

 

“Of course, Miss Grant, you were so wonderful, and then I just ran off like that,” here Kara’s smile dropped briefly as she inwardly berated herself, but then she squeezed Cat’s hand and her smile returned.

 

“You think I was wonderful?” And now Cat felt her disbelief turn to anger, not at Kara, but for her. How could Kara say these things? How could she not understand her own value? How could she be the one apologizing like this. “I took advantage of you, Kara! I got you drunk and had sex with you, and apparently you had never done either of those things before!”

 

She yanked her hand away and took a step back, hating herself for the way Kara’s smile faltered, but instead of backing down, Kara took a step of her own, and once again reached for Cat’s hand.

 

“You didn’t take advantage of me, we were both drunk, and I very much wanted it to happen, I have for such a long time,” Cat moved her hand out of reach, but Kara refused to back down, reaching for Cat’s face instead, her eyes imploring, “if I was going to experience those things, don’t you know that I would so much rather experience them with you, than with anyone else?”

 

She was so earnest that Cat felt like her heart was breaking. Cat wanted nothing more than to give in, to bury her face into that gentle touch caressing her cheek, and then pull Kara into a kiss. The desire must have shown on her face, because Kara smiled again, and started to move closer.

 

And that smile, that perfect, beautiful, hopeful, smile, it was the smile that Cat knew she would give anything to protect. In that moment she knew what she had to do, and so stealing herself, she knocked Kara’s hand away from her face and stepped back several feet, crossing her arms over her chest and closing down her heart.

 

She would not allow this, it didn’t matter if Kara truly wanted her, if Kara cared about her. She needed to do what was best for Kara, and she knew, without a doubt, that what was best for Kara was to turn away. Kara was so enamored of her boss that she couldn’t even see how she had been mistreated, if Cat gave in now, she was afraid that Kara would never realize her value. Accepting Kara now would be the same as admitting that the way she had treated the girl was all right, that it was how Kara should expect life to treat her. And Cat refused to do any further harm to the girl, after tonight that is, because tonight was going to hurt. Kara was young though, and she would get over it.

 

But she had to make sure it stuck, that she left no room for hope. She needed to make sure Kara understood there was no chance for them, ever, and in order to do that convincingly, she would need to be cruel.

 

“Fine, you had a good time, of course you did, you were with me after all,” and here she offered a knowing smirk, one cultivated by years of personifying superiority and confidence as the Queen of All Media, “but I don’t know what you think is going to happen now, you think just because you admit that you like me, that I’m going to roll over and fall in love with you? My assistant?” She practically spat out the title, making it clear how little she thought of someone of Kara’s level.

 

Cat ignored the stunned look on Kara’s face and continued on, making her tone harsher, “did you honestly think it was anything more than just sex for me, Kiera? You’re young and mildly attractive, and you were there, that’s all there was to it.” And here Cat took a step forward, inwardly grimacing at the way Kara backed away involuntarily.

 

“I handled you so roughly, and after the way you ran out, I’ve spent the last few days worrying that I raped you, and about all the legal problems that would cause.” And now for the final blow, the words that would make Kara realize she should demand better of those who sought for her attention.

 

“Do you honestly think I would ever treat someone I cared about that way? That I would ever treat someone like that if they actually mattered to me?”

 

She let the words hang there, hating herself more and more with each passing second, hating herself for doing this to the young woman in front of her. Kara looked like she had suffered a physical blow, there were no tears, but her face betrayed utter dejection and pain.

 

“I, I understand, Miss Grant, I’m sorry for wasting your time,” and with that, Kara turned to flee.

 

 _I hope someday she really does understand_ , was all Cat could think, but she doubted it.

 

“My latte better be hot tomorrow, no excuses!” She yelled at the retreating back, knowing she wouldn’t get a response.

 

She stayed frozen for nearly five full minutes, five minutes until she was sure Kara was out of the building, before sinking to the floor. The arms that had been crossed authoritatively on her chest pulled up and she wrapped herself in a hug, trying, and failing, to hold her heart together as silent tears poured down her cheeks.

 

“Please be alright, Kara, I’m so sorry.”

 

///////////////////////////

 

Kara had been so sure, so confident, so happy. On the short flight to the office she had managed to convince herself that Cat actually cared, but she knew now that it had been an illusion, brought on because she so desperately wanted it to be true.

 

And now the illusion was shattered, her mate had rejected her, and it was tearing apart her very soul.

 

As she ran from Cat’s office she didn’t go down. Instead she went up, and, not even pausing to change into her Supergirl outfit, she shoved open the door to the roof, barely avoiding breaking it in the process, and jumped. She didn’t stop ascending until she could see the whole earth spread out below her, until she had flown higher than ever before, and until the cold was so biting even she could feel it.

 

As her tears came at last, freezing instantly and floating off like diamonds, there was no atmosphere to carry the sound of her screams.


	3. Chapter Three

When she fell asleep at night she would dream about the way it felt to have Kara’s hands on her, in her, and she would remember the look in Kara’s eyes as she smiled down at her boss. Her dreams always started out this way, but they would end with Kara’s face warping into one of pain and hatred.

 

When Cat would wake up, heart pounding and covered in sweat from these nightmares, she could never decide which was the worst part. The fact that each time she would forget what was coming, and so every night the beauty of the first part opened a fresh wound when it was ripped away, the look on Kara’s face at the end of the dream, or the fact that the hatred she saw on Kara’s dream face was never reflected in reality.

 

She thought it might be easier to handle all this if Kara would look at her that way, it would prove that Cat had made the right decision. If Kara would only just get angry at Cat, Cat would know her message had sunk in, and that Kara understood that she had a right to be treated better.

 

But instead Kara would great her in the morning with her perfectly hot coffee and broken smile.

 

 _I wanted to protect her smile_ , Cat remembered every time she saw it, _I did what I had to do, so how long is it going to take? I’m not that great Kara, just get over me already!_

 

Cat for her part, was having just as little success getting over the younger woman as Kara seemed to have getting over her. But she was the Queen of All Media and she knew how to wear a mask. Her mask didn’t help at night however, and so she had taken to leaving the house once or twice a week after Carter was safely asleep and heading out to a bar. The only two things that mattered on those nights were finding someone else who just wanted the same, unattached anonymous sex as she did, and making sure that they looked nothing like Kara.

 

Afterwards, Cat would slink home and, for a few days at least, have dreamless nights.

 

After the first time she had done this Kara had hardly been able to look at her the following morning, almost as if she had known, and considering how much Kara already knew about her life, and how perceptive her assistant was, that was actually a distinct possibility. But after the third such escapade Kara had remarked that Cat looked like she was sleeping better.

 

“I’m so glad,” Kara had told her, and her smile that morning, while still sad, also held a note of acceptance and true relief.

 

 _She was worried about me_ , Cat realized, _and she’s so happy that I’m feeling better, physically at least, that she doesn’t even care that I’m sleeping with other women to do it_.

 

Cat had promised herself that she would stop after that, but four nights later, there she was, back in an expensive, anonymous hotel room with yet another woman’s head buried between her legs.

 

////////////////////////////

 

Kara doubted that anyone else knew anything was wrong with the two of them. Certainly their professional relationship was unaltered. Cat, (and yes, Kara was still calling her Cat in her head), Cat still called her Kiera, and Kara was still bringing her hot coffee and scrambling after her every whim. But when Cat smiled at her now it seemed fake, maybe it always had been. If only her increased sensitivity to the other woman would give her insight into her mind, instead of just her physical condition.

 

Controlling her level of awareness of Cat through the bond was very similar to controlling the level of intensity in her other senses, and Kara found that, with a little effort, she could turn the volume down low enough that she wasn’t party to Cat’s every movement.

 

She still knew when Cat’s heart rate increased during a bad dream, but after a few days she learned how to keep from knowing exactly where the other woman was at any given moment, and from feeling Cat’s exhaustion. She could still see how tired Cat was, however, and she wanted desperately to help. But Cat had found her own remedy.

 

Kara had been going over her notes from work late one night the first time it had happened. The burning sensation that started in her chest caught her by surprise, making her instantly hyperaware of Cat, and of the fact that someone else was touching her.

 

Kara tried to block it out but it was impossible. The pain in her chest spread too quickly, and was too overwhelming. She had fallen to the floor, and, despite the spots swimming across her vision, when the pain had finished spreading to her extremities, Kara could see the veins on her hands standing out in sharp contrast to her skin, burning with a dark green light. She had cried out when it had first started, but as the pain continued to intensify, she found that she could no longer move, nothing in her body was working well enough to even let out a scream. She wanted to pass out, but knew that would be impossible. Her bond with the other woman would ensure that she remained conscious as long as this continued. She felt it when Cat reached her orgasm, and in that moment Kara didn’t know who she was, she didn’t even know who Cat was, the only thing that existed for her was a seemingly endless sea of pain.

 

Long after it was over Kara had continued to lie on the floor, small aftershocks ripping through her body even after Cat was home in bed, sleeping soundly for once.

 

The second time it had happened Kara had been asleep, but the pain that woke her was no less intense despite the fact that she had been preparing herself for its inevitable return.

 

When Kara felt the first warning twinge for the third time she was in the middle of stopping a bank robbery. She had just enough time to end the fight, but not enough to make it back to her apartment, and so she spent that night curled up next to a dumpster in a random ally.  

 

But Cat was sleeping again, and that, Kara realized, was the key. She didn’t know what had been causing Cat’s interrupted sleep, although she supposed it was possible that Cat was upset with herself for stooping to sleep with her assistant, but now things were on the mend. Her mate was safe, and healthy, and Kara cared about that far more than her own wellbeing. And Cat hadn’t asked for this, Kara had no right to demand that Cat refrain from sex just because Kara had gotten carried away and forced the other woman into a secret marriage. Cat should and would have her freedom. Kara was a superhero, after all, it was her job to protect others and ensure their happiness, even at the cost of her own.

 

//////////////////////////

 

The past three months had been terrible. Oh sure, things at the office were running smoothly, and her sleep had improved, but Kara, just, Kara.

 

She kept waiting to see signs that her assistant was mending, but so far Kara only looked more tired and pained every time she saw her. Cat honestly didn’t know what was going to be worse, however, continuing to see Kara in pain, or seeing Kara happy with someone else. She was even beginning to question whether or not she had really made the right decision, but each time she did, she forced herself to think about something else. It didn’t help that something seemed to be wrong with Supergirl as well.

 

The hero was keeping it hidden but Cat had scrutinized over enough hours of Supergirl battle footage to realize there was a slight difference, Cat could see it each time Supergirl hesitated before getting back up after taking a hit, or in the way she sometimes punched one time too many. So far no one else in the news had noticed, largely due to Cat’s interference, but she wasn’t sure how much longer she would be able to keep covering for the hero.

 

Tonight had been especially hard. Kara had left work early with no explanation and all the news channels, her own included, were still showing clips of the most recent battle, where the news casters seemed intent on highlighting over and over again each blow the hero took, every flash of pain on her young face.

 

And so Cat hadn’t been able to relax, and instead, she found herself returning to the office. She had only been there for about five minutes when she heard a noise outside, where, to her utter astonishment, she found Supergirl, apparently passed out on her sofa hugging the pillow to her chest.

 

Cat froze for brief moments taking in the sight. Supergirl was a mess. Her normally shining hair was covered in dust and her costume was torn and ragged. But she was breathing, and that meant that she would be ok, or at least Cat desperately hoped it did.

 

Needing to distract herself from her worry, Cat pulled her authority around herself and walked over to the hero, and when Supergirl showed no signs of stirring, the older woman knelt down at her side and smoothed her face into a convincing air of nonchalance.

 

“You’re making a mess of my furniture,” thankfully her voice was strong and sure.

 

Supergirl’s eyes shot open, and whatever Cat had been expecting, it was not the beaming smile she received, so much like Kara’s. Supergirl made no effort to move, seemingly content to lie there, vulnerable before the other woman.

 

“Cat.”

 

//////////////////////////

 

It had been almost three months since Cat had last touched her. Before that night there had been little things, Cat straightening her collar or standing just a little closer than was necessary when speaking to her assistant, but no more. Kara hadn’t realized how much she had come to crave that attention, to need it, even before she had bonded with the older woman. And now that Kara was so very aware of Cat’s every heart beat, of each breath, and of exactly how much distance her boss was careful to keep between them at all times, the lack of contact was omnipresent in her mind.

 

Supergirl was suffering as well. Kara needed, physically needed to interact with her mate, and without that touch her strength and speed were failing. Being close to Cat, in her presence every day gave some relief, and that, combined with the sun’s energy still ensured that she was far stronger and faster than any human, but Alex and Hank had started to notice that she was not up to par.

 

She didn’t want to admit what she had done, knowing Alex would march down to CatCo and probably toss her boss out the window, and Kara desperately did not want to know what Alex would do if she found out what happened to Kara every time Cat had sex with someone else. And so she threw herself into martial arts training to compensate for the loss of power. It was working, too, or at least enough that she was still winning her fights, and even if she was more exhausted afterwards, took longer to heal, she was still saving people.

 

But this last fight had been grueling. It had lasted almost four hours, four hours of being thrown through entire buildings and absorbing punches from the latest alien threat. She had won, eventually, but her suit was torn and dirty, and she felt the ache in her chest, her need for Cat, all the more.

 

It didn’t help that it was past nightfall when the fight had ended and she wouldn’t be able to recharge until the sun came up in the morning. The DEO had wanted her to come in and spend some time under the sun lamps, but all Kara really wanted was Cat.

 

And so she ignored Alex’s pleas and, knowing that she couldn’t go to Cat directly, flew instead to the next best thing. Collapsing onto the couch on Cat Grant’s balcony at CatCo, Kara held the sofa pillow to herself and inhaled her mate’s scent. It would have to be enough to get her through to morning. At this point, she was too out of it to fly any further, and she didn’t even have the energy to hide behind her superhero mask when Cat Grant herself knelt down next to her.

 

////////////////////////////

 

“Cat,” the hero whispered, and Cat’s breath caught in her throat at the name. Supergirl had never called her by her first name before. “You’re here.”

 

And then a look of soft confusion crossed over the young face, “what are you doing here, you should be home…” but Supergirl was still smiling at her, her eyes slightly glazed.

 

 _I should get a recording deceive_ , Cat thought, noticing the look. Supergirl was clearly exhausted and very out of it. Cat was sure she could ask her almost anything right now and the hero would answer.

 

But she wouldn’t do that, she had betrayed one young woman already, she wasn’t going to do so to another. That didn’t mean she wouldn’t ask her questions, however, it just meant she wouldn’t record or print the answers.

 

“If you remember correctly, Supergirl, I work here,” she raised an eyebrow and gave Supergirl her most reprimanding look, “the real question is, what are you doing here?”

 

Sleepily, Supergirl shifted slightly, “I like it here,” and then, hugging the pillow tighter to herself she continued, “it smells like you.”

 

That was not remotely an answer Cat was prepared to deal with, it completely threw her off and she found herself responding in a disbelieving tone, almost before she could compose herself, “you like my smell?”

 

The hero nodded, smiling wider. Cat couldn’t help the smile that graced her own face in response, her first real smile in three months.

 

“You’re so beautiful,” the truth and admiration in the voice was clear, “I love your smile, it’s been so long since you smiled at me like that. I don’t like the fake smiles you give me now.” A hand untangled itself from the pillow and reached slowly for Cat’s face, stopping just short of actual contact.

 

Cat frowned slightly at that, “I haven’t seen you in months, how can I have been giving you fake smiles?” Maybe the girl was confusing her with someone else.

 

At her words, Supergirl drew back her hand as if it had been burned. There was pain on her face now, pain that Cat didn’t understand how she could have caused.

 

“You see me almost everyday, why haven’t you figured it out yet? I’m right there, why won’t you look at me?” Cat’s mind began to reel, how was that possible? She knew Supergirl’s real identity? Had she truly been so caught up in Kara for the past few months that she hadn’t been looking at the other people around her?

 

And then the girl was shaking her head, and Cat saw a single tear escape from one of those perfect, familiar, eyes, “it’s ok, I know you don’t like me very much when I’m wearing my glasses.”

 

Glasses? No, it wasn’t possible.

 

“But I still like you,” the hero went on, “see?” and then Supergirl reached for her again, grabbing onto her shirt and pulling Cat towards her, and when their lips met, Cat knew she recognized that kiss.

 

An instant later it was over. The contact seemed to revive Supergirl, at least enough that she realized what was happening and what she had been saying.

 

With a crash Supergirl pulled away, breaking the back of the sofa and landing on the ground behind it in a disheveled heap.

 

Supergirl was looking at her, true deer in the headlights fashion. She opened her mouth but before she could speak, Cat, who had risen to her feet when Kara had shoved herself away, voiced what should have been obvious for so long, what she would have realized sooner if she hadn’t been so caught up in her own pain.

 

“Kara.”

 

////////////////////////

 

Kara should have located Cat first, but she had gotten used to blocking that part of the bond out during the last few months, and so she really hadn’t realized that Cat was at the office. When the other woman had appeared in front of her, closer than she had been in a long time, it had brought a sort of euphoria that Kara didn’t have the energy to fight.

 

And so she let herself get swept up in Cat Grant, letting go of everything else other than how wonderful it felt to be in her presence.

 

That had ended, however, the moment she had kissed Cat. The actual physical contact sent a jolt of energy through Kara that knocked her wide-awake.

 

“Kara,” Cat was saying, and there was that look of awe and respect that Kara only ever received as Supergirl.

 

After any other fight, or around any other person, Kara would have been able to pull herself together. But as Cat stood over her, truly looking at her for the first time, Kara felt all the pain and agony of the past months and knew she wasn’t strong enough to handle it all alone anymore.

 

Unlike that time in the office when she had fled, this time she didn’t even try to hold back the tears. Instead, she let them fall even as she closed the distance between them on her knees and wrapped her arms around Cat’s waist, burying her head against Cat’s stomach.

 

///////////////////////////

 

One moment Supergirl, no, Kara, had been on the ground, staring up at her in shock, and the next the hero was clinging to her, crying, and Cat had no idea what to do, so she just stood there trying to process it all.

 

Kara was Supergirl. Kara was Supergirl and she was crying in Cat’s arms. Kara was Supergirl and she looked utterly broken, and it was Cat’s fault.

 

She should have known. It wasn’t just the physical resemblance, she should have seen it in the very reasons she had come to find herself attracted to the young woman in the first place. It was in all those little moments, Kara’s bright, genuine smiles, and the way the girl would throw herself so completely into a task to help someone, that Cat sometimes had to make a big show of ordering her lunch from Kara, just to remind the girl that food existed and that she needed to take a break and eat as well. There were other things that came to mind when Cat thought about it, like how Kara could make Carter smile and come out of his shell, and how Supergirl had taken that little extra bit of time to make Carter feel special on the train. It was so obvious that all the qualities that made Supergirl a hero, were the same qualities that had allowed Kara to continue to work for Cat long after anyone else would have quit, and that had allowed Kara to see past the persona of power Cat always wore, and come to care for the real person underneath. Both Kara and Supergirl were magnificent, and both had the ability to utterly take her breath away.

 

Finally, after a long moment, Cat found herself able to move, and she reached for the young hero’s face, tilting it up to meet her own. Cat had no illusions that she would be able to do this if Kara wasn’t allowing her to do so, but, as Kara had shown time and time again, she would allow her boss anything.

 

“Kara,” Cat started to say again, but the girl in question shook her head, roughly, desperately.

 

“No, I’ll stop,” Kara’s eyes were boring into her own and Cat knew that Kara meant every word that was coming out of her mouth.

 

“I’ll stop being Kara, I promise. I’ll just be Supergirl, just, just don’t leave me alone again, please? You don’t have to love me, or give me anything, but, just let me stay by your side. It will be better this way, won’t it? You don’t like Kara, but you like Supergirl, don’t you? I’ll be only her for you, I’ll be whatever you want, just don’t let go, I need you.”

 

“Oh Kara,” Cat felt the hero flinch at the name, how had it come to this?

 

Slowly, careful to keep her hands on the other woman, Cat sank to her knees in the embrace, bringing their faces close together. Cat had seen only the naïve girl, someone she needed to protect, when all this time, it had been Kara who was protecting her. It was time to stop lying, Kara was obviously much stronger than Cat have given her credit for.

 

“Don’t say that, Kara, don’t ever say that, especially not for me,” Cat ran her hand over Kara’s face and Kara moved into the touch. “I do care about you, that’s why I said those things, I wanted to make you see that you deserve so much better than what I gave you, I thought that then, and I think it even more now.”

 

Kara was shaking her head again, “I don’t want better or worse, I just want you.”

 

How could Cat make her see?

 

“Kara, you think you need me, but you don’t, you shine so brightly, and you already did even before you took up the cape. I’m doing all of this to help you, Kara, you need to see that.”

 

////////////////////////////

 

Cat’s hand against Kara’s face was slowly driving back the aches of the battle and healing the bruises, renewing her mind and body at the same time.

 

Kara was finally beginning to feel like she could think clearly, allowing her to concentrate on Cat’s words.

 

 _Cat’s been lying to me_ , she realized, _just as I’ve been lying to her. Cat’s been lying to protect me_. _Cat cares about me…_

 

Her sense of wonder at the other woman increased, “you must have been in so much pain,” she whispered, “when I ran out on you that night and you thought you had hurt me, all this time you’ve been thinking about that night all wrong. I should never have left you like that, and your nightmares....”

“No, no Kara, we’ve been over this, you did nothing wrong! The way I treated you-”

 

“You made me feel wanted, and that is more powerful for me than you know. I saw them all die, Cat. My cousin didn’t, he was a baby at the time, all he has ever known is Earth, his human family, he has no idea what we lost. But I was thirteen and I watched Krypton explode, I saw all those people I cared about and loved, die.”

 

Cat tried to interrupt but Kara kept going, needing to make Cat understand, “all I had left was a purpose, to come here and take care of him, but I even lost that when my rocket got pushed off course and out of normal time. By the time I arrived he was already an adult, and Superman, and he didn’t need me. But you, that night, you looked at me like you wanted only me, like you wanted me so badly that nothing else mattered. No one else has ever come close to making me feel like I belonged to this place, to a person, more than you did. I’m not human, Cat, I don’t need you to be gentle, I just need you give me a place to belong.”

 

/////////////////////

 

Cat wanted to believe Kara, more than anything she wanted to believe. Cat had known Kara didn’t blame her for the way she had handled things that night, but was it truly possible that Kara had understood just how much Cat wanted her? Cat’s behavior had been driven by a desperate need for the younger woman, but just because Kara seemed to accept and desire that behavior from her, did that make it right?

 

She needed to know.

 

“You lost your powers that night, but you didn’t know yet which is why you got drunk,” it wasn’t a question, more a statement of fact as Cat pieced her thoughts together. She knew Superman lost his powers sometimes; it only made sense that Supergirl would also be at risk for a similar aliment.

 

“You didn’t really understand what was happening at first, so tell me, could you have stopped me Kara, could you have told me no, if you had wanted to?”

 

And that was at the root of the problem. Cat could be mad at herself for not making the night more special for Kara, but she could make it up to her. If Kara hadn’t felt like saying no was an option, however, then Cat didn’t know if she could accept what Kara was offering now.

 

“Of course, Cat, and we both know that if I had said no, you would have stopped.” Kara seemed to believe it, but did Cat? Would she have stopped, would she have been able to tear herself away from the younger woman?

 

“How can you be so sure?”

 

“You would have, Cat,” there was such faith and trust in Kara’s eyes, “I believe in you.”

 

Kara seemed to sense that Cat was still conflicted, and, as Cat watched the hero’s face she saw a look of determination set in. Kara had come to a decision about something, about revealing whatever last bit of information she had still been holding back.

 

“I wouldn’t have allowed anyone else to touch me, only you. Kryptonians mate for life, Cat, we only ever take one lover, and when we bond with them, it changes our very being. I bonded with you that night, but that bond never would have been formed if I wasn’t already in love with you. You think you took advantage of me, but what you don’t realize is that I wanted you just as badly, and just as blindly. You didn’t know that us having sex would forever bind me to you, but I was selfish and I saw a chance to become yours, and I took it.”

 

“Become mine?” Cat whispered, and as she spoke she felt how right that sounded. There was a whole new future just outside of her grasp, if only she was brave enough to take it.

 

“Yes,” and Cat believed her.

 

“My Kara,” she tried it out, testing to see if she could believe and accept it. At her words she saw a change come over the younger woman. Kara seemed to grow, becoming more present in her arms, and Cat realized that the other woman had been slowly fading ever since she had rejected her after the earthquake.

 

“My Kara,” she spoke again with more confidence, watching in awe as her words, her claim, brought new life to Kara, reviving the hero.

 

“Kara Zor-El, my name,” Kara was looking at her with anticipation and hope, and Cat knew she could no longer hold back.

 

“Then, Kara Zor-El,” and at this Kara shivered in her arms, “I think it’s about time I really showed you what it means to be mine, let me prove to you that I will never let you go, ever again,” and then she closed the distance and hungrily dowered her mate’s lips.

 

If Cat had thought Kara could shine before, it was nothing compared to now.

 

///////////////////////////

 

Cat smiled as she looked down at the young woman pressed along her side. They still hadn’t managed to do this properly on a real bed, but considering the fact that the narrow confines of the couch, or at least, what was left of it, forced Kara to sleep with her entire body pressed flush against Cat’s own, her head tucked under Cat’s chin, Cat supposed it wasn’t actually so bad.

 

Cat couldn’t help herself and she ran a hand over Kara’s face, not quite believing that all this was real. The younger woman had been so sensitive to her and Cat felt her smile shift into a pleased grin as she remembered the evening’s activities. She was going to have fun, she thought, experimenting with just how much influence the bond gave her over Kara’s body.

 

As Cat continued her caress, moving from Kara’s face to her neck, and finally over her back, Kara arched into her, a soft moan escaping from her lips even as she began to stir. Sleepy eyes met Cat’s own and Cat marveled at how the woman could let herself go so completely and shamelessly under Cat’s command, and yet still be shy enough to blush in the morning light.

 

“You know I belong to you as well, don’t you Kara?” She realized she hadn’t spoken the words aloud yet.

 

“Yes, Cat, I love you too,” came the sleepy, but pleased reply.

 

“I didn’t actually say-” but Cat was cut off as Kara kissed her gently on the neck.

 

“I know,” but Kara still sounded very pleased with herself.

 

 _Oh well, it’s true anyway._ Cat decided not to press the issue.

 

“Sleep well?” Kara asked after another contented moment.

 

Cat began to nod, but then she remembered something Kara had said the previous evening, and she felt a knot of discomfort form in the pit of her stomach.

 

“How did you know about the nightmares?”

 

Kara looked slightly sheepish at the question, but she answered anyway.

 

“I can feel you, even when we’re not together. I felt your heart rate and breathing increase, and your exhaustion.”

 

Cat’s eyebrows snapped together, she wasn’t so sure she liked the way that sounded.

 

Kara picked up on it, but she misread the source of Cat’s concern, “I’m working on my sensitivity to it though, don’t worry, I can still give you plenty of privacy.”

 

Cat brushed that aside, there would be time to learn about all the intricate ways that the bond had affected Kara later, right now she needed a specific question answered.

 

“Could you feel it, when I was with those other women?” She asked, getting her answer right away when Kara flinched and looked away.

 

“It’s ok, it was helping you sleep,” Kara looked back at her. Cat knew Kara wasn’t holding it against her, but there was something else, something the girl wasn’t saying. Cat had years of experience reading between the lines, however, of finding out what exactly people were leaving out, and Kara was more open to her than most.

 

Cat didn’t want to ask, but she needed to know. “Did it hurt you? More than just emotionally I mean? Did my actions cause you actual physical pain?”

 

Kara closed her eyes for a brief moment. When she opened them again Cat could once again see the shadow that had been hanging over them for so long. She knew Kara didn’t want to answer, but she also knew Kara respected her enough to give her the truth anyway.

 

“It did, it was-” she broke off and shook her head, not even really able to describe what the experience had been like.

 

“Oh, Kara,” there was nothing Cat could really say. An apology would hardly be enough.

 

At the pained tone in Cat’s voice, Kara’s eyes hardened, the weakness disappearing in an instant to be replaced with a confident and self-assured young woman. Cat recognized the change, and, although she had seen less of in over the past three months, Kara had always had this ability to shift into a hero when it was needed.

 

“No,” Kara repositioned her weight, sliding up so that she was straddling the older woman, rather than tucked into her side.

 

“You will not feel bad about this, Cat. It was my decision not to tell you what was happening to me, you had no responsibility to me, and no fault.”

 

In this position Kara was illuminated by the soft glow of the dawn light. She was still soft and beautiful, but Cat could see that she was also something much more, someone much stronger.

 

“You will not feel bad about this,” Kara said again, and it was almost a command. Spoken like that, and coming from the Last Daughter of Krypton, someone who could still smile despite so much loss, Cat could feel the authority and weight in those words.

 

But she was still Cat fucking Grant, and superhero or no, she was not about to let her assistant boss her around.

 

“Fine,” and with that she twisted them both to the side.

 

Kara’s dignity was lost as she let out a surprised squeak and toppled off the sofa, landing on her back on the ground with Cat now on top.

 

Grinning down at the surprised alien, Cat pinned Kara’s hands in place above her head, “but that doesn’t mean I still can’t work to make it up to you,” she spoke before leaning down to capture Kara’s lips in a kiss.

 

Almost as an afterthought Cat broke away from the contact, ignoring Kara’s sounds of protest at the lost connection.

 

“Oh, and Kara?”

 

Her only response was a soft groan as she shifted her weight and ground her hips down into the younger woman.

 

“If you even think of using your super strength to break my grip, you are so fired, do I make myself clear?”

 

“Yes, Miss Grant,” came the breathy reply.

 

**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> I'm also on tumblr under the name spaceshipsarecool. You can find the full list of my fics (including the ones that are not posted on AO3) and links to them there at https://spaceshipsarecool.tumblr.com/spaceshipsarecoolficlist


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